I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
