im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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