just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
