My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
