I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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