oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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