goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
