I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
