My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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