doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
