Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
