Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
