and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
only if we run a train.
done.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
