just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
