I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
