Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
