Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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