I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
don't judge my taste in strippers
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I think people are normalizing furries
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
