I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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