yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Randomize
