That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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