Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
