Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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