He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I will die if light touches me.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
