Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Randomize