maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
