He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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