I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize