so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
