i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
