Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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