just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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