I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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