i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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