yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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