the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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