Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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