this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
