You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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