so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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