i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
