Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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