Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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