So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
