I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
