hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
