Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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