his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
