you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
