I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize