words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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