During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
