he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize