he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
