I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Drake has all the answers
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
