I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize