I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Randomize
