you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
