I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
