did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
