Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
