I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
