Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
