I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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