i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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