I could have mohawked her pubes.
It was confusing and full of hummus
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
