Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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