She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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