saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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