Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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