I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
