i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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